Last week, the day I had hoped would never come, did. Our darling dog, Nipper died. Tom and I are broken-hearted, though we are comforted by knowing that we gave him a long, wonderful life and did everything humanly possible at the end.
When we first picked Nipper up at the breeder 15 ½ years ago, I remember holding him on my lap when Tom wrote out the check. I looked at his dear little puppy face and thought, “I don’t love you yet, I don’t even know you, but I know where this is going to go. So now, I am going to promise you that I will love you for the rest of your life and give you the best care possible. And when the end comes, I promise that I will make the hard decisions in your best interest, no matter how badly it hurts me.”
We fulfilled that promise…
Our family and friends have rallied to our side with love and support. Nipper had lots of friends, even a little fan club made up of the children who live on our street. Every day the mail brings more sympathy cards. We could not ask for more.
Tom and I do not have human children. Nipper was our “child” as much as it was possible. We took him everywhere, even on special doggie friendly vacations. He gave gifts on holidays and we always signed his name and drew a paw print on any greeting cards or letters we sent. On his 15th birthday in June, we threw a special birthday party and invited all of his canine and human pals. I baked a three-tied birthday cake and decorated it with salami, hot dogs and bacon. The dogs drank from my Mother’s sterling silver punch bowl. Tom and I had a saying, “You are my darling, I am your darling and Nipper is our darling.”
Last week we acquired a puppy, a Basset Hound named Nosey Anne. This was not to replace Nipper, but to fill a puppy sized hole in our hearts. We decided to get her to help us to move on, as an affirmation that love is our greatest renewable resource and to keep us busy as we grieve our loss. The truth is, it is hard to lie about and weep when you have a wiggly, active, 8-week-old puppy clowning around, tripping over her own ears and needing to be let out. Her silky fur has soaked up many of my tears. I think of holding her as “Warm Puppy Therapy.”
The loss of a pet leaves a hole in our lives that never truly goes away. Other pets may come into our lives, but those unique bonds are never broken. We never really say goodbye. Memories are bittersweet, but as the days, weeks, months and years go by, we form new ones. Instead of crying when we remember something fun we did with another pet, we find ourselves laughing.
Many years ago I clipped a quote from the newspaper and taped it inside my prayer book. Unfortunately, I did not write down the name of the person who wrote it, so I hope they will forgive me for that. It holds a great deal of meaning to me and I offer it to all of us who are suffering the loss of a much loved pet of any species:
“Bless you for your devotion, bless you for your canine commitment to remain with me, if not for days without end, then at least for our indeterminate duration.”
Facing Pet Loss?
Dr. Stan Szotek, D.V.M., owner of Faithful Companion Pet Cremation Services says, “Sadly, we usually outlive our pets. Their lifespans are never long enough. In most case, we have to make a decision to euthanize. It is important for people to realize that this is a very serious and loving decision.”
He says that when a pet is aged or very ill it is very important to get good, solid advice from your veterinarian about what is going to happen.
“The most common question I get from my clients,” he says, “Is, how do I know when it is the “right” time? You as the owner live with your pets, you can see the changes. Do they still like to eat and play? If they have lost their appetites and their spark for play and just lie around, they are telling you something. Their life is becoming quite a struggle.”
The problem, he believes is that owners actually can see it, but they want not to believe it is real. But as a loving owner if they are not doing those three things you have to question if your little friend is happy.
Grief, he counsels, is an individual thing. “People who love pets need to have them around,” he says. “At some point, you will need to get another pet. So many times people feel as though by getting a new one they are somehow betraying their old one. That is not the case. In a certain respect, you are honoring that pet by getting a new one.”
Faithful Companion Pet Cremation Services
11815 Highway Drive
Suite 700
Sharonville, OH 45241
(513) 733-1900
www.faithfulcompanion.com
